Sweet release

I'm not feeling real joy at the moment. In fact, the longer whatever this oppression is hangs around, the more discouraged I get. There's not a lot of peace here either. Not like a river. Not even a rivulet. Whatever this cloud is I'm under, it isn't bringing with it the fruit of the Spirit. I can't get back to the clear air I normally have. Something is in the way.

God had me read that part (page 51) of Walking with God (by John Eldredge - I talked about it a few posts ago) on Sunday for a reason. It's exactly where I was at. There's been something bothering me for awhile now and I just couldn't figure out what to do with it. I've let myself get stressed over it and the effects have been showing. I haven't been able to be myself and experience true joy. Unfortunately, I can't go into detail about the actual situation, but God revealed more to me.

You'll soon discover that if you want life and joy, if you are moving into deeper intimacy with God, you are going to attract attention. The enemy will not like it. That's okay. Don't surrender. Don't back down. As Scripture says, resist. Rise up. Fight back. If you do, you can be rid of the attack. And best of all, it makes you holy. Because it strengthens your will and draws you closer to Christ. It causes you to mature, for you have to be intentional and deal with assaults directly. - pg 56

So that's what I've done. I've acknowledged that I've been listening to that voice in my head that's beating me down and calling me a bad person and I'm no longer going to listen to that voice. God wants me to find His peace and have joy. He came "that we might have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10 I feel that I have been getting closer to God lately and it didn't even cross my mind that Satan wouldn't like it and would attack me. I hate how cunning and subtle he is and how he can make us feel bad about ourselves. Yes, we do need to take inventory of ourselves and desire to become better people in Christ, but if it's from God, He won't beat you down to get you there. He'll do it in love and bring peace from it.

Thank you, God, for revealing that to me and helping me to bind Satan and the accusations he was gently placing in my head. Those thoughts do not come from You and do not produce fruits of the Spirit.