Hey Everyone ... if you're still there. My friend asked me today, "When you said on your blog that you'd be back in April, did you mean April 2010?" After we had a good laugh about that (thank you, Karen), I tried to explain why I haven't been back, and I'll try to explain it here as well. At first, I didn't come back right away because 40 days away from the computer really made me realize that I don't need it as much as I thought I did. I could live without it! Can you believe that? :) I would go for days without even thinking to look at my emails or Facebook, but slowly over time, it's creeped/crept back in. Not like it was before Lent, and only on my email and Facebook. I haven't looked at my blog or anyone else's since the end of February. When I thought about why that is, I think it's because I'm a little ashamed. I had big plans for myself during my break, but I think I somewhat wasted my time and I'm dealing with some shame over that. Without my computer, I'd have a lot of time on my hands to do good things with. I'm going to admit that the only good thing that I feel came of my break was that I visited with people I hadn't seen in a long time and I made time for that, which I was happy about. Other then that, I'll be honest and tell you that I filled my time with crap TV. I did do some reading, but mostly I sat (or layed, depending on my mood) on my couch and I flicked through channels. I didn't read my Bible more like I intended or have more quiets times and pray and I know that I missed out on some great opportunities. Then why didn't I do it? I've asked myself that question so many times and I can only come up with that I didn't want it enough, which makes me sad. I know only I can change that, but for some reason, I don't. I know that God still loves me and we have a wonderful relationship, but it can always be better.
Anyways, there it is. Now that I've admitted that, maybe I'll be here more often.
Oh, in the time that I've been gone, I've transferred to a new job and it's been wonderful! God's timing is perfect, as always, and He knew what I needed well before I did. I'm so glad that I didn't get that job that I talked about earlier. I'm also glad that He's in control and not me. :)
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6 comments:
Oh hi you!
I can completely relate to your post. I have such good intentions about so many things that don't seem to happen. But like you said...God loves us anyhow. That's good.
I'm so glad you're back!
I too can relate to your post. I feel guilty all of the time for not reading my Bible more or praying more. But apparently all the guilt in the world isn't enough to get me to change. Thank goodness my salvation doesn't hinge on it!
Welcome back Fiona!
Funny how we all seem to be in the same boat with great intentions :)
Glad to hear that you got a job transfer and that you are loving it!
I'm glad it wasn't 2010. ;)
I almost stopped checking ;)
Welcome back. Look forward to seeing more posts.
Congrats on the new job!! Very glad it all wored out for you. Aren't you glad God knows best!
my word verification: Ammoen!
And I say AMEN to that too :)
Welcome back!
But something good did come out of it! You made time for people that you may not have otherwise. That's something! Don't be too hard on yourself. I always have such grand ideals and then never seem to get there. I think sometimes we just expect too much of ourselves and that just sets us up for failure (or so we call it). It is a very good thing that God doesn't have such high expectations of us. And none of us in blogland do either. So you're still good in our books!
Thank you for being honest...it's nice to know that someone else does the same things I do. :)
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