Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
I will pray for you now
For you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I could not ask for more
Than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough
That compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build
And place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down
Around your feet
May you find every step
To be harder than the last
So you character grows
Greater each stride
May your company be
Of humble insignificance
May your weakness be your
only source of pride
What you do unto others
May it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through
May your blessings be many
But not what you'd hope they'd be
When you look upon the broken
May mercy show you
What you could not see
May you never be sure
Of any plan you desire
But you'd learn to truth the plan
He has for you
May your passions be tried and
Tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life
For what is true
I have prayed for you now
All of my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more
Than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on
I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you say
These prayers for me?
Oh that you would pray for me
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I’ve been quite vocal about not being afraid to die, because if God’s promises about what Heaven is going to be like are true, why would I be afraid to go there? It’s going to be a MILLION times better than what I’m experiencing on earth and I’m pretty happy with life here, so WOW! I can’t even fathom what Heaven will be like. I always follow it up with, “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to hurry along the process. Only in God’s timing,” but I got thinking about God’s timing. We don’t know when that will be as proven by my very healthy friend who passed away just months ago out of nowhere. I’m not trying to scare anyone here, but really ... we have no idea when our time will come and I realize that I don’t have kids or a spouse to leave behind so it’s different for me. I do realize that.
Anyway, back to my point. I started thinking seriously about if I were to die that night, would I be ready? Do I have any loose ends that need to be tied up ... and after wracking my brain, my answer was no. I really do feel that if there’s anyone that I feel I’ve had issues with or has had issues with me, I’ve tried my best to clear them up. I kept searching my brain and prayed for God to bring someone or something to mind that I hadn’t done, but I couldn’t come up with anything ... and that made me happy.
I mean, ok, I did think, “I’m supposed to go hang out with Jennie on Saturday and my trip to New York with my sister next fall won’t happen,” but as much as I’d love to do those things, they wouldn’t be something that I’d feel were left undone. Do you know what I mean? I thought maybe I’d just gotten sidetracked, so I started praying again and the next thought that came to my mind was, “I won’t get to see Blue Valentine. I heard Ryan Gosling did a great job in that movie.” Seriously? I have no idea why that movie came to mind when there are lots of movies that I still haven’t seen (like being able to see Bella and Edward get married - yes, I DID go there!), but I just kept thinking things like, “I guess I’d miss out on skydiving” and “Nope. Not ever gonna find out what sex is like.” (I know, I know - it’s not all it’s cracked up to be - says those who get to have it whenever they want :P )
Finally, after all those silly, fun thoughts, something did come to me. I came to the conclusion that the only thing I’ve left undone is to make sure that someone knows that at my funeral, I want God’s love to be front and center. I want my non-Christian friends to come to my funeral and leave KNOWING that God’s love is what made me a happy and content person. I don’t know why God loves us so much, but He has allowed me a brief glimpse into how much He loves me. I’ve been told that I’m a pretty confident person, but all the credit goes to God’s love. If God loves me THAT much, what else matters, really? That’s what I want to come across at my funeral. So, if you’re one of the people that might help plan such an event for me, take note! I’ve tried to live my life not changing how I talk about God to people whether they’re a Christian or not, so hopefully my non-Christian friends get it, but this would be “my” last chance, so when the time comes (obviously it wasn’t Thursday night), I’ll need your help. You in?
Do you have any loose ends that need to be tied up?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Well, she finally called me back and my new surgery date is September 28. Thanks to everyone who prayed for me last time. If I can be so bold as to ask for prayers again, can I be specific and ask that you pray that it actually happens this time? :)
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I was told that my arrival time was 10:45. Like a good little girl, I got there at 10:30. Jennie and Nathanael were very punctual picking me up and were allowed to come to the back with me. After I had changed into this lovely outfit, I'd barely walked around the corner and this lady says to me, "Come with me!" I already had my camera in hand because of course I wanted Jennie to take a picture of me in my new get up, but the lady was already walking away. I kinda turned around and said, "One second," and handed Jennie my camera and stood there real quick like. Jennie's like, "Are you coming back?" but I just looked at her like, "I don't know!" You can see the lady turning into that first door behind me, but I didn't know where that led, so we weren't sure what was going on. Little did I know, things don't happen THAT fast around there.
I turned and ran to catch up to her and as I walk into the room she says, "Yeah, you'll be going back." But now I'm already in the room sitting down so I can't jump back out and let Jennie know. I wonder if she was sitting there thinking, "Will I see her again or was that it?" I forgot to ask her that. The nurse takes my blood pressure and asks me a bunch of questions, then tells me that she'll take me outside and start my IV and then the doctor and the anesthesiologist will come and talk to me. Never in that 5 minutes with her did she tell me WHEN all of this would take place. Silly me thought that if I was supposed to be there at 10:45, then surely my surgery would be within half an hour. Did I mention that I've never had surgery before? Yeah, silly me.
I don't know if you can see it in the picture above, but they ask you to take out all of your jewellery. Well, I've got a couple of pieces that I can't get out. I thought they'd take wire cutters to them, but they just made me put tape over them (ie, my nose in the picture above).
Time for the IV! Since I've started having a lot of blood work taken to find out what's been going on with me, I've realized that I'm not scared of needles. It didn't hurt at all. It felt weird once she had it in and taped to me because I could feel it move if I moved my hand at all, but it didn't hurt.
My trusty companions all day. They were such troopers. Thank you SOOOOOOO much Jennie and Nathanael for being there for me. Here were all still smiles because ...
After this momentary excitement, we went back to our previous positions (see picture number 7) and continued on with our waiting. A nurse had come out and talked to me about pre surgical stuff and asked me a bunch of questions, so in my mind, it was a go.
At about 2:15, the same nurse that asked if we were Stanley Cup fans, asks me, "Are you going in anytime soon?" With a quizzical look on my face I said to her, "I thought you'd be the one who could tell ME that!" She said, "It can't be too much longer now. The nurse already came out to talk to you, so it must be your turn soon." I said, "As long as I don't get bumped, I'll be happy." Both her and the other nurse were completely quiet for about 5 seconds after I said that (which seemed like forever) and then they were like, "No, I'm sure you'll go in anytime now."
Well, about 15 minutes later, Jennie says to me, "I don't have a good feeling about this." All morning as Jennie was nervous and said she's been cleaning her house like mad, her feelings didn't transfer to me. I was totally calm. I thought maybe when I got to the hospital I'd get more nervous. Nope. Maybe when they put the IV in I'd get more nervous. Nope. But when Jennie said, "I don't have a good feeling about this," I believed her. I started to get that sinking feeling. We'd already seen one person get bumped today (he was quite the character as well, but I won't go into those details), so who's to say it wouldn't happen again. Then, we see a nurse come from behind "the" doors, she grabs my chart, Jennie and I are thinking, "This is it!" she walks over to the Stanley Cup nurse (yes, that's her name) and I see the nurse's hands fly up to her face in an "OH NO!" pose. Jennie and I just looked at each other and said, "Oh crap."
Yup. You guessed it. I got bumped. The nurses were all SUPER apologetic. They explained to me that the doctor had had a very serious cancer case in the morning that had gone longer than expected and then the gallbladder right before mine had taken longer than expected as well and they were going to have to reschedule me. I KNOW that cancer trumps gallbladder so I wasn't upset about that and I tried to be gracious ... especially because it was NONE of their faults, so I pretty much stood up and asked for the IV to be taken out right away so I could go get myself something to eat. I was STARVING!!! Ok, not World Vision child starving, but you know when you can't have it, you want it even more? Yeah, that feeling (and since the cute doctor who'd come out with a sandwich earlier in the day had decided to torture me by waving his sandwich around in front of me hadn't shared with me, I was really thinking about some food at this point).
I'm not sure which thought went through my head first: food or "I have to go to work tomorrow!" but they were pretty close to each other. I think I was more disappointed because I'd already had my date changed once so technically, this was my 2nd bump and rearranging things at work is kind of a pain. I'd gotten myself all psyched up for 2 weeks off work and now ... back to work. And I LIKE my job and my supervisor!
Anyway, Jennie and I went and grabbed some food (the new Thai Chicken burger at McD's is quite good, btw - no, I wasn't TRYING to bring on an attack so I'd end up in emerg and they'd HAVE to do the surgery like my Mom thought) and then I made the phone call to the doctor's office to reschedule. The girl in the office sounded quite flustered when I called so I asked her if she wanted to call me back. She said "yes" and that it would most likely be tomorrow. Well, it's now Sunday and I still don't have my new date. She did inform me that the doctor was going on holidays, so it wouldn't be until September sometime. Of course it won't.
Again, thanks for all your prayers. I know I'm extremely blessed to have you all praying for me and that I haven't had an attack since May. I don't know if I would've been able to handle the disappointment if I'd still been continuously having attacks and NEEDED it out NOW!
I'll keep you all informed when I hear any news. Thanks again!
Monday, August 15, 2011
I haven't had an attack since May 17, so I'm not sure what's going on ... have my gallstones disappeared ... did I pass them? What? Strange.
I've taken a picture of my stomach without any scars. Yes, I've been told that the scars will be very small, but I've never had surgery or any major scars before so this is all new to me.
I had a dream last night that I was in the OR (that's operating room for those of you who don't know ... I learned that when I watched ER - that's a TV show short for Emergency Room ;P ), lying on my side and that they were operating through my back. I could hear everything they were saying and could feel some tugging, but no pain. When I woke up, I started thinking about that movie Awake where the guy (Hayden Christensen) is awake during surgery but paralyzed by the anesthetic so he can't tell them that he's feeling everything they're doing. Ok, not the best thought before going under. I'm sure that won't happen to me, right???
Gotta go pack a bag in case the surgery doesn't go well laparoscipically and they have to open me up. If that happens, I'll be in the hospital for a few nights, but it's very rare, so I'm sure I'll be home later this afternoon and tomorrow I can let you all know how I'm doing.
Thanks for your prayers!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Those are the first words you hear when watching The Bucket List. It intrigued me right off the bat. I wondered, "Is my heart open? What is the sum of my life?" I was really interested to see where this movie went. Sure, there are cheesey parts and it's a shame that they used a green screen in so many scenes instead of actually going to the locations they're supposed to be in the movie (safari in Africa, the pyramids in Egypt, Taj Mahal in India and even something as simple as driving a race car), but I liked the overall idea of the movie.
They both find out they have cancer and have about a year to live, so they make a list of things they'd like to do before kicking the bucket ... hence, The Bucket List. Morgan Freeman's character puts things down like:
See something truly majestic
Help a complete stranger for the good
Laugh until I cry
Jack Nicholson's character puts things down like:
Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
Get a tattoo
Which leads Carter (MF) to say to Edward (JN), "Is that the sum of your ambition? Edward, I've taken baths deeper than you."
I thought that was a pretty good line, however, in my opinion, if you're going to make a bucket list, I think it's ok to have fun things like that on it.
Later on in the movie, when they're sitting at the top of a pyramid (yeah, right!), Carter tells Edward that the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about getting to the entrance to Heaven. When their souls arrived, they were asked two questions and their answers determined whether they were admitted or not.
1) Have you found joy in your life?
2) Has your life brought joy to others?
Wow! Those are 2 awesome questions! Think about them. Read them again. I can honestly say yes to the first question which brings me ... what else? ... JOY! And the answer to question #2? Well, I think we'd all like to answer the way Edward answers by saying, "Ask them."
But be honest with yourself. Has your life brought joy to others? My answer is this ... I believe so. For the most part, I've surrounded myself with people who bring me joy and in turn, they inspire me to do the same. Edward's answer is probably right in that we can't truly answer for someone else. People have to choose joy. I may try to bring people joy, but they have to choose to receive it. I think if you were a grumpy, bitter, curmudgeon and were asked that question, you'd have to answer no, so if you're mostly a pleasant person, why wouldn't your answer be yes? Because it seems arrogant to answer yes? Maybe, but who cares! I do think that we can always strive to be better people, though, so let's not get carried away on being high on ourselves. ;)
This movie, to me, was about three things.
1) Being a good friend
One of the last lines in the movie is this ... "I'm deeply proud that this man found it worth his while to know me." I am so grateful to have so many people in my life worth knowing. You have inspired me, encouraged me, cried with me, served with me, been silent with me, laughed with me and gone on many adventures with me (whether abroad or right in our own backyards). I lost a friend recently and it was very sudden. I hadn't told him what he meant to me and I'll forever be sorry for that. His facebook wall was inundated with amazing comments about what a great person he was. I know that no one's going to say something bad about someone at a time like this, but they could've just said simple things. Instead, they went on and on about his character, his encouraging words and how much he'll be missed. It's really made me want to be a better person. We should all aspire to have those things said about us when we pass away.
2) How do I want to be remembered
This pretty much ties in with what I said at the end of #2. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What do you want people to say about you when you're gone? Then start living it NOW! It's not good enough just to think about it. Do it! And I'm pointing the finger at myself here as well. Just like choosing joy, it's a daily choice to be a nice person when you wake up in the morning. Granted, for some people it's an easier choice than for others (why is that, anyway?), but we really do have a choice.
3) Take risks and try new things
The other day I saw this quote: "Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life." - Seneca. Count each day as a separate life. I like that. Some things will definitely be worth the risk and others won't, but at least you'll have put yourself out there and tried. Going back to the beginning of this post, when I die, I want my eyes to be closed and my heart to be open, however, I also want to LIVE with my heart open.
Overall, I'd definitely recommend this movie. Is it JN's or MF's best acting jobs? No. But it's the message that counts and this is a good one.
So, my question for you is:
What's on your Bucket List?
Friday, July 08, 2011
U2 of course!!!
Had a GREAT time at the concert, stayed overnight, walked around Seattle the next day and tried my new favoritest ice cream in the world (will explain more in a later post), came home early evening on Sunday (still working on jet lag, don't forget), had errands and plans Monday and Tuesday, did NOTHING on Wednesday and then back to work on Thursday.
Friday after work I packed ANOTHER small bag and headed up to Whistler for the weekend with 3 friends. Man, Whistler's beautiful!!!
Another week of work (just about kicked jet lag by this point ... with a few up-until-3am nights in there), then had a friend come up from Seattle and stay at my place all weekend ... we went and saw Wicked (really great, but the A/C wasn't working so it was like a SAUNA in there!!!) and then on Sunday did another trip into Vancouver to pick up my sister's dog at the airport and transfer him to another airline and send him off to Calgary for my parents to pick him up.
Another week of work (finally kicked the jet lag) and then headed down to Snohomish and Seattle to visit some friends, which brings us to last weekend where I GLADLY welcomed the month of July because I only have one or two things planned!!!
Don't get me wrong. I loved everything I did in the months of May and June, but I'm exhausted!!!
I'll try to start updating again, but that's the quick version of the last month ... all of which my pics are on Facebook and most of you have commented on, so I think I'll just leave this one as a wordy update. :P
I'm happy to be back!
Monday, May 16, 2011
2. This one's mostly for the ladies, but you'll find yourself doing your hair differently or wearing things you'd NEVER find yourself wearing back home. I wish I had a picture to show you of this thing I've been wearing on my head, but the benefits of traveling alone are that there ARE no pics! I am kinda sad that I left my fisherman's pants at home because again, although I wouldn't wear them at home, they're super comfortable and "fashionable" amongst travelers.
3. When buying trail mix for a snack, make sure there's no chocolate in it. Makes for a very messy situation when in warm climates.
4. Don't forget to put suntan lotion INSIDE your ears. Yup. They will burn and it'll hurt to put in your ear buds to listen to your iPod later. If you do forget, still do it the next day even though it hurts like a bugger. You'll thank me later.
5. You'll start getting a British accent - or at the very least, an accent not your own. Let me explain (granted, this may just happen to me). English is the common language (fortunately, for me), however, from my experience, a lot of ESL people have learned English from the proper British, therefore, when they speak it, they kinda sound British (at least to me they do). Lately, I've found myself when talking to someone from Holland (met a nice couple from there today ... thought of you, Bren), let's say, that all of a sudden sentences all sound like questions and just generally sound different. If I say it the way I'm used to, a lot of times people don't understand you ... but put on the British accent and they get it! I haven't said "Ta" or "Cheers" yet, but I have found myself saying "Reckon" (not with the southern US drawl, but again, the British accent). Ok, like I said, maybe this one's just me.
6. When ordering a cheeseburger, it's best not to ask until after you've eaten it what kind of meat they made the patty with.
7. You'll most likely get so relaxed that the very thought of going back to work will make you want to "accidentally" lose your passport ... then you remember that you have to work to make more money and go do this again, and the panic attack passes.
8. Canadians are very polite. It's not like that everywhere ... but sometimes it's part of that country's charm, in a weird way.
9. Don't let your left side turn towards the sun today ... oh sorry. That one's just for me. :P
10. When the "captain" tells you, "Jump in here and you see turtle" or "Jump in here and you see shark" do it, even if you're scared! I did it! Can you believe it? I hardly can!!! :)
11. Talk to people around you. Most of them will be interested to hear where you're from, where you've been and to tell you good places to see and things to do. If they don't feel like talking, you'll figure that out pretty quickly and you can move on to the next person/people.
AND LASTLY ...
12. You can't outrun the Biebster. They play him in the airports, hotel lobby's and even little restaurants on practically deserted islands. I know some of you will be happy about this, but I thought I'd warn the rest of you. You're welcome.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Thank You, Lord that I "happened" to wake up at 5:30 this morning and look outside and see a crazy lightening storm ... with no rain ... even better.
Thank You, Lord, that when I set out on what I thought was going to be a short excursion today, I "happened" to think to take my sarong to cover my shoulders so I wouldn't get more burnt. My excursion ended up lasting 4 hours, so I'm glad I had it along.
Thank You, Lord, that I've learned to look behind me when I hear rustling and again, "happened" to turn around and see a monitor lizard slowly walking down the path towards where I was laying on the beach.
Thank You, Lord, that as I was setting up my self timer on my camera to take a picture, that I "happened" to see a "stick" move and "happened" to look at it more closely to see it was really a snake (the equivalent to what we'd call a Gardener snake - is that how it's spelled?"). And thank You, Lord that I "happened" to get a National Geographic moment as I looked closer and saw that it had a little lizard in it's mouth. Thank You, Lord, that my battery on my camera "happened" to die right AFTER I'd watched this circle of life moment so I could capture most of it on my camera. The reason I was setting up my self timer was because the beach I was on was completely deserted. I literally felt like I was a castaway all alone. Kinda cool and creepy at the same time.
Thank You, Lord, that when I got back to my hut and wanted to relax by listening to some music, U2's "Beautiful Day" "happened" to play when I put it on shuffle.
Thank You, Lord, that I don't believe in happenstances. Thank YOU for a GREAT day!
Oh, and thanks for banana/pineapple smoothies. :)
Friday, May 13, 2011
My room smells like urine and the sheets are stained.
I've got a chicken and her baby chick living under my hut and a nosy squirrel constantly staring at me.
I've got no hot water and the bathroom leaves much to be desired.
And you know what? ... I LOVE IT ALL!!!
I'm not kidding.
This place is BEA-U-TI-FUL!!! The water is so clear that when I stand on the dock, I can see all the colourful fish ... I don't even NEED to go snorkeling! The sand is so soft and white that it squeaks under my feet. Last night I was sitting on the beach just people watching and I looked to the south and watched the coolest storm roll in. Once it passed, the air felt fresher and less humid.
I slept for 10 hours!!! How is that possible? Why can't I ever sleep that long at home? I'm not going to think about it right now. I'm just going to enjoy it.
Here are a few other things I've learned:
I should've applied more sunscreen today. Oh well. That just means I won't have my back to the sun at all tomorrow. It'll be a front facing day. So, I make an adjustment. No big deal.
Yes, travelling alone has it's lonely moments, but I haven't once felt that I'm holding anyone up while I stop and take my MILLION pictures or take a super long shower. I haven't felt like I've disappointed anyone by simply wanting to sit and read my book for 5 hours straight instead of "doing" something.
To sum it up, I'm having a GREAT time! This is the life. I'm telling ya. And I've still got 3 full days of it ... looking forward to doing more of nothing. :) Then I'm on to my sisters and I just learned she's got a pool in her complex ... I guess a few more lazy days are in my future before the grad festivities start up.
Hope you're all well. I do wish you were here. Oh, a rooster just walked by the door ... did I mention I saw a monkey in the tree above the restaurant earlier as well? Yeah, pretty darn cool.
Monday, April 25, 2011
I had another attack last night. It wasn't fun, but just as I started worrying about it happening during my trip, I read the verse above. It's all in His hands. He will protect me and I have to trust in that.
On another note ... as much as I'm thankful for my new phone and that I can get internet on it and update Facebook and my blog, typing anything too long can be a real pain on this teeny keyboard, so that's all from me for now. :P
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Oh, I have an appointment with the surgeon on May 2. When I booked the appointment she said it'll be about 20 minutes and then after that she'll book me for the surgery once I get back from my trip. When she said that, my stomach did a little flip. I've never had surgery before. Heck, I've never even been in the hospital overnight ... I've only been to emergency twice in my life and from about the age of 12 - 30 I didn't even HAVE a doctor because there were no visits needed. So this whole thing is a bit new to me. And I'll be honest with you ... when I drove into emergency a couple of weeks ago, I was wondering what the possibility would be of them cutting me open right then and there and it made me sad that I was alone. I wanted someone there to hold my hand. I always feel like I'm pretty independant and content being single, but this was one of those weak moments where I wish I wouldn't have been alone. Yes, I could've called someone, but one thing about being single is that you (obviously) don't have the spouse there to see that you need to go to the hospital and just jump in the car and drive you there, so you have to make the effort to call someone and you really don't want to bother people. Plus, I really didn't think they were actually going to cut me open that night, so I knew I could handle it alone. I had phoned my parents while I was waiting in emergency and when I called them back to tell them what had happened, I told my Mom about wishing I had someone with me, and she said that her and Dad had thought about that but were worried about my car all alone in the parking lot all night! haha! That cracked me up. :)
Anyway, I've actually been feeling pretty good the last week, so I'm sure it'll all be good while I'm gone. I've alerted my insurance company that I've got this pre-existing condition so that if something does happen while I'm gone that I'll still be covered. One day at a time, right?
Friday, April 22, 2011
This is about surfing... but not actually.
If you could do me a favor, I’d like you to imagine, as you read this, that I have a body like one of those girls from that surf movie Blue Crush... or like the super-model, Giselle. Yeah, Giselle would be good. Trust me. I just feel like this whole story will come off better if you can pretend that I’m sleek and athletic, rather than stumpy and jiggly. Let’s pretend I’m “lithe”, I like that word. Also, lets pretend that I’m a pretty good surfer. I’m not. At all.
I get the same bruise every single time I surf. Same bruise, same spot, same reason. Every time. I walked out of the water with it, throbbing along the back of my arm, this week. And even though it always happens, it still kinda surprised me.
It’s a good deep bruise, the kind that bleeds into the closest joint, making everything feel stiff and sore. The kind that reminds you, every time you stretch your arm or roll over in your sleep, that, oh yeah, you were surfing today... yesterday... earlier this week... You were on the water with your eyes stinging and your lungs burning of salt, and you slipped off your board into the sea -like you always do- and, as you tumbled under the waves, your very own board came back at you, above you, trying to kill you. So you put up your arm to protect your face and head from the fin that was racing toward your skull, and that’s when it got you, right smack in the same spot where it always gets you, on the back of the arm.
That's how it goes every stinkin’ time. And this might sound weird, but I love that wretched, painful bruise because it reminds me of how I love to surf.
I love the struggle of surfing. You have to battle against the forces of the Earth just to get out past the break. You have to beat the current, and the waves, and the wind, and your own tired body, before you can let it all loose again to come together and push you back to shore.
Then, once you're out there, there's a moment of quiet. A time of Peace. Where the crush of waves over your head has been replaced by the graceful sway of the water underneath you. You’re just there, in that place where you wait for the wave that will pick you up, steady your path, and shoot you back to the sand a little faster than you’d like.
When it’s time, you can feel it rising behind you pulling you backward, upward. And then the fight begins again, to paddle ahead, to stay upright, to get up on your feet as white water surges behind you, and then all of a sudden... you’re standing, moving, surfing along the wave, you are flying free and fast, and you don’t remember anymore how hard it was to get there. You aren’t bothered by aching muscles or burning lungs. The struggle is over. The battle is won.
It’s not until your feet are buried in the sand again, and after you’ve caught your breath, that you feel the pulsing at the back or your arm, where the fin of your board laid into you, You can feel the blood pooling under the skin and seeping down into your elbow, but you totally don’t care because that’s the price you pay for the freedom to glide above the water. And it was worth it.
And that’s when you remember another price that was paid so that you could be free.
Today, I am reminded, whenever I flex my sore right arm, that we are commemorating the battle waged, the broken body, the shed blood.
Tomorrow, a moment of quiet anticipation, as we wait for what's to come.
And finally, on the third day, a celebration. The freedom granted to each of us by the empty tomb, the battle won.
Now, I need to stop wondering if I’m worth it...
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Friday, April 08, 2011
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
This morning, I got a call from the hospital and they've booked me for an ultrasound on FRIDAY!!! Whoo hooooo!!!
I'm trying not to worry about the thought "what if the ultrasound doesn't show anything" because then I'll be back to square one with no reason why I've been having these "attacks."
Anywho, just thought I'd give you a quick update. Thanks for your prayers ... would appreciate if they continue. :)
Monday, April 04, 2011
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris meets beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas--a woman like none he's ever known. But just as he realizes he's falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. David learns he is up against the agents of Fate itself--the men of The Adjustment Bureau--who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent David and Elise from being together.
But why? Why don't they want them to be together? And when you find out why, is that a good enough reason? This movie seems to make you want to ask yourself if we control our destiny or do unforeseen "forces" manipulate us.
Before I say anything more, I will tell you that I liked the movie. It's definitely more romantically inclined and less action than they lead you to believe in the trailer, but I did like it. I don't want to give anything away or taint your thoughts before seeing it, but this movie could really mess with your mind. If you're unsure of what you believe and who you believe in, I can see that this movie would bring about a lot of questions, which it did for me at first. On my drive home my mind was going a mile a minute and I started questioning God ... and then the verse I opened with popped into my mind.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see,"
Oh yeah. I don't NEED to know what's going on because God's got it under control. I will NEVER be fully in "the know" and that's ok because that's what faith is. And besides ...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper youI went and saw the movie with a co-worker and she obviously had some thoughts about the movie as well because as soon as she walked through the door the next morning, before she even took her coat off or turned her computer on, we were talking about faith, God and free will. It was pretty cool. I don't know if we came to any hard conclusions, but I told her about the 2 verses that I've mentioned here and that I don't worry because I really do believe that God's got it all under control. All I can do is think about today and see how God wants it to play out.
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
I mentioned that this movie seems to make you want to ask yourself if we control our destiny or do unforeseen "forces" manipulate us. I believe they left out one option. That there's a loving God who allows us to have free will and won't manipulate us but will be there with open arms if we decide to choose Him. No, it doesn't mean that life will be a piece of cake if we do choose Him, but He'll be with us every step of the way to help us through it ... and that's enough for me.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
And then they took me out to UBC where they used to watch "the submarine races." Yeah, right!
Happy Anniversary you crazy kids!
Love you lots!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
If I didn’t say it to your face, you look great. Slim and great. Healthy, and frankly, you sound happy.As nice as it is to hear that I'm looking "slim," I actually was more touched by the compliment that I sound happy ... because I am. I have a great life. I really have nothing to complain about. Well, other than this long winter, not having much money right now, the gas prices going up and thinking I may have a gallbladder problem - but other than those silly things, I've really got NOTHING to complain about! haha - No, but really. I take that as a compliment because I do feel the blessings of God in my life on a daily basis and if I come across as happy, it's because He's in my life and that means I'm somehow paying tribute to Him ... and that makes me happy. I do want my life to be a testimony to His goodness.
So, thank you to my friend for paying me that compliment. It was honestly one of the nicest things anyone's said to me in a long time.
I'm going to look for a way to pay that compliment forward. How about you? Have you received a compliment lately that was unexpected and made your day ... or paid a compliment to someone and shocked them?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Anyway, back to Syd. This girl makes me happy. She is SUCH a good kid (I'm sure at 18 she hates to be called a kid, but when you're "old" like me, she's still a kid). Sydney is a nice person. She always has been. She's a loving sister and friend. I've witnessed it. She LOVES to read! I think she read the Lord of the Rings trilogy when she was 12 ... I didn't read those until I was in my 30s! If you give her a new book, don't expect to see/talk to her for a couple of days because she's engaged in reading said book. And she's super smart, too! I mean, she's graduating this year so the fact that she's passing means she's smart, right? :)
This is a pic of me and Syd a couple of years ago. I think she was 14 then. Yeah, my little niece!
I can't wait to go see her walk across the stage and matriculate (big word, hey? I like reading, too, you know. It really has helped me with my vocabulary.). I hope that no matter where my nieces or nephews live when they graduate that I will be able to go and see it.
Now Sydney has a boyfriend. I can't wait to meet him. I haven't heard what their plans are for next year, so I'm excited to sit down and have a good chat with her about all her plans for the future ... or at least for the next year.
Monday, March 14, 2011
I think everyone should watch this movie. Even kids. Like I said, there are very few spoken words in this movie, but it grabbed my attention right from the get go. It will blow your mind to realize how spoiled we North American's are. I thought I knew that lesson ... yeah, this will reopen your eyes to that subject. The more we have around us, the less content we are, it seems.
Anyway, I highly recommend this movie. It's awesome. It obviously took a year to film and then a couple of years to edit and get into theatres, so they do a little follow up on them at the end a couple of years later, but I'd love to see another follow up on them maybe at age 10 and then 15 ... you know ... every 5 years to see how they're doing and to see what they think of themselves as babies. So great! Enjoy!