Opinions, please.

Well, there's a first time for everything and yesterday at church, I had a first. I was listening to our Pastor speak about how we are meant to be a community and that we were saved to be part of a group. We should be "other" oriented. This resonated with me because as I briefly mentioned in my last post, just this past week, God has been showing me my selfish tendencies. I was chuckling to myself (not out loud because the person next to me might've thought I was a little off my rocker) that this point was being driven home to me yet again. I was telling God, "Yes, I get it," but not in a cocky way. I really do want to learn and change my ways. I did mess up this week and just had to say, "Doh!" after I realized that I had asked God to show me ways to be less selfish this week and I missed the mark big time. Luckily God is gracious and I can learn from that. When we run contrary to our design, dysfunction happens and I felt that as soon as I realized how I'd missed out on being selfless.

So, we know that's not a first for me. Being selfish is one sin I'm unfortunately, too familiar with ... but working on to rectify. What was a first was at the end of the sermon it was time to take communion. He went through the "instructions" about how if you're not a Christian you may just want to let the bread and cup pass you by and how if you have an issue with a "brother" you may also want to do the same until you make it right. All of a sudden I was confused. I'm dealing with anger right now towards someone who hasn't done anything directly to me, but to someone I'm close to. Is that enough to make me let the communion pass me by? It's not like I can go and make it right with this person because, like I said, they haven't done anything directly to me and therefore, if I went to them, they may tell me to butt out. But the anger I have in my heart isn't right and I know that. Do I hold off on communion until I've dealt with this anger? I didn't know what to do. I've never had this feeling before. Since I was unsure, I left during communion and decided to not take it. This was a first for me. Something I really do not want to repeat. I hated not taking communion and feeling that special bond with God. It left a hole in my heart, but not enough to drive out the anger yet.

Anyone have any good advice for me? I'm all ears.