Lent update

I know today is usually Wordless Wednesday, but today is the first day of Lent, so I thought I should write an update.

I’ve obviously decided not to give up blogging, and I’m happy about that. I’ve been enjoying blogging lately in a way that I haven’t before and I believe it’s in a healthy way, so I’m glad God didn’t ask me to give this up. I love connecting with you all on a different level.

So, what AM I giving up this year? Well, Facebook for one. I just don’t NEEEEEED to be on it as much as I am. There are other things I can do with my time that are more productive. I’m going to finish reading Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi - thanks to Keri for lending it to me). Since I started Jenny Craig last summer, I vowed I didn’t want to become a calorie counting, food obsessed person. I think I’ve done pretty good in that area and have become more equipped with the tools to help me stay balanced. I wanted to read this book to see if I see myself in it at all. She was anorexic and bulimic. I really do believe that physical appearance is something that the majority of women struggle with, so although I think it’ll always somewhat be an issue in my mind, I would like to get as much in control of it as possible and have it be an issue in the BACK of my mind, not in the forefront. I’ll admit that I did see myself in parts of the book, but then she’d go completely off and in my mind I’d think, “Whoa. That’s crazy!” so I think this book was good for me to read to confirm that I’m not over the edge .. although, I fully give any of you permission to ever tell me if you think I HAVE got an issue. Please do. So, once I finish reading that book, I’m going to start reading Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen. I’ve heard it’s hilarious and even some of my non Mennonite friends said that, so I can’t wait to see what it’s all about. I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done.

Here’s another weird thing that I’ve been feeling I have to stop doing ... I’m not going to run yellow lights anymore. No, this has nothing to do with Lent, but have you ever been at a light waiting to turn left and finally the light turns yellow so you’ll get to go and then one (and sometimes even two or three) more people go through the yellow so by the time you get to turn, the light’s already green for the people going the OTHER way and you get dirty looks? Yeah. Sucks, doesn’t it? Well, I’ve often been that person going straight through the light, forcing my left turning friend to get the bad looks that I deserve. No more of that. The same goes for when I’m a pedestrian and I don’t have a walk signal. Ok, yes, I do agree that it turns to “the hand” too quickly most of the time, but again, there are driver’s waiting to turn left and if I’m taking my sweet time walking through the crosswalk, they are going to be forced to hold up traffic waiting for me. No more of that, either.

You’re probably thinking, "What does this have to do with Lent? This doesn’t seem so hard." I’ve been thinking the same thing. This year I haven’t felt compelled as in previous years to really struggle and give something up for 40 days ... but instead, been challenged to give a few things up for good. Things that I think will only be good for me (and other drivers, evidently). You may wonder how my giving up “malicious talk” is going. Mostly good. It’s a daily struggle. I wish I could say that it isn’t, but it is. I do love that I’m hearing the Holy Spirit’s conviction, though. It makes me feel closer to God. Sometimes I’m strong and sometimes I’m not ... but I’m working on it. I’m not giving up. I don’t know if you remember or not, but I had originally said something about it being worth the risk and then not being sure if “risk” was the right word to use. Well, I’ve learned there is risk involved. If I’m in a room where I feel people are bad mouthing other people, I’ve chosen to walk out. Most of those people know that I’m working on this area in my life and while I don't expect anyone to change their ways because I've decided to work on this, I also don’t want them to think that I think I’m better than them because I’m taking the high road and choosing not to partake in the bad mouthing. I've learned hard lessons in the past not to judge. It's not my job to convict other people and what they do is between them and God, so I don't want to force anyone into anything, but there’s risk of losing some friendships, actually, if people think that I think I'm better than them. How do I make them realize that I don't think that way? I can see how it seems a little self righteous to leave a room when you don't agree with something, doesn't it? How do you get it across that I don't think any less of you, but I'm just going to do what's right for me. Does that make sense? I'm still processing that one and it's been weird, but again, a risk that I think is worth taking.

So there you have it. Lent is very different for me this year. I think I’ll have to find another way to prepare myself for Easter than I have in past years, but I’m up for the challenge. I know a lot of people who are taking on the Lent challenge for the first time this year. I think that's awesome, but I've said the same thing to each one of them, so I thought I'd put it here as well, in case you're thinking of doing it for the first time. Don't pressure yourself. Lent is an experience between you and God. Everyone does it a bit differently. There really are not a set of right/wrong rules. Don't tell yourself that you have to sit and pray and read your Bible instead of whatever you're giving up. For me, that was a recipe for failure. Just let God direct you and show you what He wants you to do/learn/see. There were years where I felt like a failure because I filled whatever I'd given up with something equally as time consuming, but I believe the main thing was that I tried and when I felt like cheating and going back to whatever it was that I'd given up, I'd be reminded of the sacrifice that Jesus had made for me and it made me think, "Ok, what I'm giving up is NOTHING compared to that, so I can handle it for 40 days." I believe that Lent is to prepare us for Easter and get us to really think about the sacrifice Jesus made for us. It's not to guilt you into doing something else. Yes, if reading your Bible more or praying more are a by product of your experience, that's awesome. But don't put that pressure on yourself. Just start by letting it be a reminder throughout the day of Jesus' sacrifice ... and go from there. That's just my opinion.

Oh, after I wrote my other post about what I felt God was asking me to give up, Marni sent me this video. I’m not proud of this, but I’ll be honest and say that at first, this lady’s voice sounded condescending to me and I almost didn’t watch it, but I knew Marni wouldn’t have sent it to me if it didn’t have something good to say, so I watched it. And I’m glad I did. She talks about using our words in a positive way and not allowing the enemy to use them against us ... and that’s exactly what I was talking about! I love having you girlfriends looking out for me ... knowing you’re out there and you’ve got my back and are such an encouragement to me!





A couple of you mentioned that you're struggling with this same issue. First of all, thank you for admitting it and for making me feel like I'm not alone. Second, let's all pray for each other and have our own support group! I think we should start with this verse:

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.