Saturday, March 12, 2011

Thank You for making me average

I was going to call this post, "Thank You for making me normal" but then the opposite is abnormal and I don't like that word. Here's what I mean.

The other day I was watching TV and I came across a show where a guy had a 12 pound tumor on his face. It was awful. I felt so bad for him. Luckily the show was about an amazing doctor in Chicago that said he would remove the tumor for him. When this man would walk down the street, people would stare at him. After the surgery, he did look a million times better, but people will still stare at him. On average, most people don't have 12 pound tumors on their faces.

A couple of weeks ago I saw another show where a 7 year old girl was kept BY HER PARENTS in a dog cage in the basement. Awful. Awful. Who does that to their child? On average, most people didn't grow up with horrible parents.

Then there's the show Hoarders. I realize that this show has opened our eyes to the fact that more people have this problem then we may have thought before the show aired, but on average, most people don't live like that.

I've always been attracted to fame. I used to watch Entertainment Tonight religiously. I used to buy People Magazine as often as possible. One of the things on my Bucket List is to see myself on the big screen. Not as the star. Just walking by in the background in a movie. Or when someone invents something that makes millions or goes from obscurity to fame, I'm honestly happy for them, but there's a twinge of jealousy in me as well. It's not about the money. There's this weird desire in me to be known. I don't know why. It's not one of my finer points, but it's not something that controls my life, either. I don't crave it so much that I'm actively doing anything to BE known. It's just kinda always in the back of my mind like when I hear how Stephenie Meyer has a dream, wakes up and starts writing down this dream and it turns into the Twilight series. My first thought is, "How cool is that for her?!" and my second thought is, "Why couldn't that have happened to me? I love writing and I have TONS of crazy dreams!" I know, it's weird. I don't seek the spotlight, but if it's put on me, I don't shy away from it, either (although I probably should because my face goes ALL SHADES of red! Not because I'm embarrassed, but because attention is drawn to me and I know that people are looking at me and then inevitably, someone will yell out, "Man your face is red!" Thanks for that.).

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you that is because this week after I'd watched those first programs I mentioned, I realized that I'd rather be average than to be known for something horrible that happened to me that was out of my control. I'm happy that God made me who I am. I could've been born with a condition that caused a tumor to grow on my face, but I wasn't. I could've been born to horrible parents, but I wasn't. I could have a mental condition that causes me to be a hoarder, but I wasn't (ok, some of my friends do think I keep WAY too many things, but it's not to THAT extent). On the flip side, I could've been born with the acting ability of Halle Berry, but I wasn't. I could've been born with the creative talent of Vera Wang, but I wasn't. God made me Fiona Borne for a reason.

I just wanted to publicly thank God for making me average. And I'm really ok with that.

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