Sunday, February 27, 2011

Needy people make me less Christ-like

I know, I know. That's not a nice title, but it's the truth. Not people who are in need, but needy people. Do you know who I'm talking about? Not people who stand on the street with signs asking for money or food ... people who stand in the doorway to your office and suck the life out of you. Ok, maybe I'm being a little over dramatic. To me, there are two types of needy people. There are people who never do anything for themselves and expect you to do everything for them (which can be exhausting in it's own way, but mostly I can deal with those types of people)and there are just people who need SOOOO much affirmation ALL the time. These types of people are mainly the ones I'm talking about. If I'm being honest (which I guess I already did in the title of this post), those types of people make me unChrist-like. I literally tend to start ignoring these people. Not ignoring as in, you're talking to me and I don't reply at all ... well, not right off the bat, anyway. Now, that would be rude ... just ignoring as in "you're talking to me and after we've chatted for a bit and dealt with our business yet you keep standing there saying NOTHING but you like to hear yourself talk and think that maybe this person I'm talking to will affirm me in some way but I keep looking at my computer screen and typing because I'm working so I'll glance up at you every once in awhile and give you a smirk but hope you'll catch on that I need to get back to work" kind of ignoring.

I know. I'm an awful person. And this is why I've come here to talk about this. I need suggestions of what I can do. These are the types of people that if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile and you'll never get on with your day. This doesn't just happen at work, either. That was just one example. And how come these are the only types of people who don't catch on to the social indicators that the other person is in a rush or would like to move on? Non needy people will see those signs and be like, "Hey, it was great to see you and catch up really quickly. Have a great day," and not be insulted (hopefully). I mean, if you're standing there talking to me and my body is completely turned the other way and I'm saying, "Uh huh. Uh huh. Well, I should be going ..." and you just keep talking! I put that in because if I ever run into any of you in the mall I don't want you all to be thinking, "I wonder if she's thinking I'm needy and wants to leave right now," because those of you who I know read this blog are not like that. But maybe after admitting this, you'll have such disgust for me that YOU won't even WANT to talk to me in the mall anymore. And you know what? I totally get that.

I get that Jesus would never have turned away from someone because He had to be somewhere else. I get that Jesus would affirm that person with His love and make them feel like the most special person in the world. I get it ... and that's why I feel bad a lot of the time ... but again, if I'm being honest, most of the time, I don't ... hence ... unChrist-like. How hard would it be for me to say, "Yes, you look amazing in that outfit" (even though it's the trillionth time they've asked me) or "Hey, you did a great job on that project" (even though it's their job and that's what they get paid to do). Ok, I'm going to try to soften the blow and not make myself look so bad ... if that's even possible. I have no problem telling someone they did a good job or that they look great if I can tell they're not searching for the compliment. Does that make sense? Hopefully that explains it a little better. So now, can you please tell me how to get that "that person's searching for a compliment so I'm going to be stubborn and NOT give it to them" thought out of my head?

I understand that we all have our insecurities. I really do get that. I've got a couple big ones of my own that come to mind, but that's for another post. I guess it's when people's insecurities become other people's problems that I have an issue ... ok, I'm sounding like a bitch again. Ugh. Maybe I should just quit before I dig myself too big of a hole ... or maybe I'm too late for that. Or maybe I should add this to my lent list.

I'd LOVE your thoughts on this topic. Help!

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