I have to admit something ... I've been dealing with jealousy lately and I don't like it. Usually I'm quite content and happy with my life. Ok, there may be the occasional pouted lipped times when my hair doesn't turn out like some superstar's that I tried to copy on TV or my body doesn't look like those on the cover of Sports Illustrated, but those are unattainable things (they are, right? Don't tell me otherwise - I like living in that bubble). They have hair stylists, make up artists, trainers and air brushers. This green monster has hit a little closer to home. I'm not going to tell you exactly what I'm jealous of for a couple of reasons:
1) I don't want to make those who I'm jealous of uncomfortable and on the flip side, I don't want anyone who I don't mention that I'm jealous of, to be hurt.
2) I don't want this to look like I'm having a pity party for myself and wanting people to comment and tell me, "Don't be jealous of _____! You're just as _____ as _____."
It really isn't about that. I guess I just need to admit it. Admitting it's the first step, right ... or at least that's what they tell me.
I will tell you that it has nothing to do with being married. There. I said it. Again, I have my moments of PMS induced binges where I have a good, snotty, what-have-I-done-wrong-in-this-life cry, but for the most part, I'm not jealous of those of you who are married. I'm happy that you're happy and that you and your mister (or miss if I have any male readers) found each other, but until/if God decides to bring along Mr. Right, I've come to terms with my singleness.
So, it's not that.
I'm going to try to apply the same "terms" to this new jealousy that's crept up in my life so I can fling said green monster to the curb, but until then, just thought I'd ask for your prayers.
Thanks. You guys rock.
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4 comments:
I think that everybody deals with jealousy, whether they admit it or not. It's part of the human experience. But I think it's what you do with that jealousy that matters. Do you let it eat you up and consume your life? Or do you use it to motivate yourself to change things in your life? I'll be praying for you. :)
I feel like that green monster sits on my shoulder. Some days I can ignore him and other says it seems he whispers in my ear all day long. Life long struggle for me!
I guess jealousy is part of being human. Good for you for dealing with it head on!
Your jealous of my mondo-calves, aren't you. I knew it!
I agree with Sonya, we all struggle with jealousy; it's what we do with it that matters.
I know you said not to do it, but I'm going to - I think you're great!
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