Lent

Yes, it's that time of year again. Well, in a couple of weeks it will be. I had been wondering what I should give up this year. I guess I'd been praying about it, too, but not designated, sit down and that's all I pray about kind of prayer. I'd be going through the day and the topic of Lent would come up and I'd say to God, "Hmmm, what do You want me to give up this year?" I still consider that praying. I don't know about you, but I have a LOT of those prayers throughout the day ... "Thank You for getting me up when my alarm didn't go off." "Ooooh, Lord, how do you want me to answer this person right now? Sock it to 'em (about the gospel), or slow and steady?" "Thank You for not letting that crazy driver in the roundabout kill me when they swerved over into my lane because they don't realize this is TWO LANES, buddy!" Ok, that was a mixture of prayer and yelling at said driver, but you get the idea.

So, although I'd been thinking about this, I was thinking more material things. Since I'd already done sweets, TV and then computer, what was left? Was I supposed to do those things again? To be honest, I wanted a bit more of a challenge since I knew I could do those. Yes, they were hard to give up at first, but I'd done it before and knew it was possible ... and for me, it kinda loses it's sting when it's not really hard to give up. So, why was I surprised when God finally revealed to me what He wants me to give up? Here's how it happened:

I went to Care Group last Monday and after catching up with everyone and saying our usual, "How was your week?" "Nice hair, did you get it done?" type of questions, we got down to the nitty gritty. We were asked to read Isaiah 58: 6 - 12. I opened up my Bible and you know how some paragraphs have "titles?" Well, this one said "True Fasting." I looked at our leader and said, "You're not going to make us fast, are you?" I was thinking food and you gotta remember, since I started on Jenny Craig, I don't eat a heck of a lot! I mean, I eat enough, but don't ask me to give THAT up, too! I'm joking ... kind of.

Anyway, we started reading the passage, "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen; to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free ..." "Phewf," I'm thinking, "it's not about food. Yes, injustice ... set the oppressed free!" Then, whoever was reading, got halfway through verse 9, "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk ..." and I didn't hear any more of the reading.

Pointing finger and malicious talk.

We read through the whole passage one more time and then we were supposed to write about what jumped out at us. I knew what I was going to write about, and it wasn't pretty. Here's what I wrote:

With Lent just around the corner, I had been wondering if I was supposed to give up TV, the Internet and sweets again. I know all those things are doable, but gossip and malicious talk?! That would be hard. That will be a real challenge.

Ok side note here: I realize this doesn't paint a pretty picture of myself. After I read it to the group, I was thinking, "Wow. They're going to think that if this is something I've been convicted of giving up, that all I do all day must be to gossip and talk maliciously about people." I'd say that I'm more of the try-to-be-funny-while-bordering-the-line-of-insulting-people kind of talker. Does that make sense?

Even though we only were supposed to read until verse 12, I read on (I know, I'm super spiritual keener like that ... ok, I usually don't do that, but this was obviously God prompted).

Verse 13b and 14a say, "if you honour it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land." Finding joy in the Lord is NEVER a bad thing, and riding on the heights of the land sounds pretty cool, so I think I want to take on this challenge. I'm scared, but I think I'll become a better person because of it. It's worth the risk (ok, is there really "risk" involved? Maybe I should've just stuck with the word challenge).

The other thing I realized after I'd read it to the group is that now that I've been convicted of this, do I really wait for March 9 to start it? "Phewf, good thing God only convicted me of this for Lent and I only have to give it up for 40 days!" No, unfortunately, conviction doesn't really work like that ... believe me, I tried to put it off, but that Holy Spirit is right there convicting me when those thoughts come to my mind ... which I know is a good thing ... but if I'm being honest, can be a bit of a downer sometimes. Ok, maybe that's what I meant by risk ... having this voice in your head telling you what's right or wrong and trying not to go CRAZY!

So, I ended my writing with this prayer: Lord, help me not to fail. Help me to think before I speak and maybe after awhile, I won't even have those malicious thoughts anymore. What? It could happen, couldn't it? Ok, I know I'm human and not perfect, so I'm sure I won't completely be rid of those thoughts and sometimes they'll spill out into words, but I'm gonna give it a try. This week was hard, but I was actually happy when those thoughts stopped me before speaking and then I was proud of myself (that kind of pride is ok, isn't it?) when those ugly words didn't fall onto someone elses ears and make them fall prey to malicious talk as well, because that's the other thing ... when I talk like that, I'm causing someone else to fall as well, and I have enough guilt of my own. I can't be responsible for others, too!

So, there you have it. I'm sure after yesterdays post you're thinking I should be giving up jealousy and I'm working on that one ... but baby steps, people! I haven't figured out if I'm still supposed to give up sweets, TV and the Internet, but I've got a couple of weeks to figure that out. I'll let you know ... or if I'm all of a sudden gone, I'll be back in 40 days.